What the fuck is this? What’s going on here? I felt something I hadn’t felt in too many years to count just by looking at her; I felt, peace.
My vision blurred and I was shocked to realize there were tears in my eyes. “Fuck me!” I looked back at my brothers. “I’m fucked.”
Something must’ve came across in my tone because Lo and Quinn moved to flank me while I felt my other brothers crowd around me when I turned back to look at her.
Once again I didn’t see or hear anything else, in those few seconds, there was just her. Like she had an almost uncanny ability to take me out of myself. I swallowed and tried to get my heart to go back to its place.
She couldn’t be real and this couldn’t be real. I’d safeguarded myself against things like this. This isn’t supposed to happen to me.
I’d built a wall around myself, a wall that only had room for my brothers and now their families, but that is as far as I am willing to go.
Besides, look at her, she’s so feminine, so delicate. There’s not fucking way I can go there. The thought hurt so fucking bad it was like a physical pain. Like I’d taken a beating from a battalion.
I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t come. Before I could say anything the boy headed towards her on the stairs.
Once again he was putting himself between his family and us and I couldn’t help but admire his guts. I had no doubt every man in the room was sizing him up.
“Daddy, I’m sorry, you didn’t tell me we were having guests.” She started to walk back upstairs but his words stopped her.
“No sweetheart don’t leave, come here to me.” She came shyly down the stairs and did not look at any of us as she walked to his side. She even walked pretty, like her feet didn’t touch the ground.
He patted her hand and she put her arm through his and kissed his cheek before leaning her head on his shoulder.
The move was so innocent, so intimate, it reminded me of something baby Zak would do when she was conning one of us out of something she knew she shouldn’t have.
She was closer now, close enough for me to reach out and touch. I could smell her scent, like a Mediterranean garden at night.
Just looking at her made me want things I know I can’t have. In all the times I’ve heard the others speak about how it had been for them when they found their women, I never once believed that shit was real.
That sense of knowing, it was there. It was the wrong fucking time though. I needed to put it aside and do what we came here to do.
But some shit was happening to me in real time, something I couldn’t deny. But I’m fucked if I didn’t want to turn tail and run.